Non-Ponder Ponder
Saturday January 12, 2008 | RandomOn the last blog post, Aaron commented this:
“Sheesh, you make it sound like there’s nothing to look forward to in life. And if that’s honestly how you feel, it’s time for some serious reexamination.”
I don’t have much I look forward to. I know that. So I made a list (because lists and charts and graphs are how I think, you see). Things I look forward to:
- New episodes/movies of: The Venture Brothers, Avatar: the Last Airbender, and Futurama
- Literary Night
- ...
New TV shows and a biweekly event are all I look forward to in life. I’ve met the goals I could keep and wanted to keep. My aspirations are shattered and hollow, and I look to things like overpriced fashion and expensive haircuts to try to cheer me up like it seems to do for everyone else. How sad.
As I’ve been playing it more, Persona 3 is growing on me. The first four hours weren’t fun at all, but since I’ve started relaxing and not worrying about playing the game right as much, it’s felt more like playing.
I have news I won’t be posting until tomorrow night, after I talk to some people. Big news. Significant life-altering news. And it makes me miserable to even think about it.
While cleaning, I found a list of my goals in life that I wrote in the beginning of grade 10. It was a required assignment with a required number of items you had to put down.
I was struggling so much by the end of it, I resorted to looking at others’ lists and almost everyone had traveling to new places except me. Venice wasn’t a real aspiration, just something to try to do well on the assignment.
Though it was still an aspiration of mine to take over the world at that point in time, I figured my teacher would frown on it so I didn’t put it down.
If I haven’t accomplished it already, it’s not a goal anymore (with the exception of the band at my funeral, I still want Here’s That Rainy Day).
I’m existing without purpose at this point.
